Dog Humor

I love to laugh, I love jokes, but jokes about dogs, now that makes me laugh. If you are a dog owner, you realize the unlimited laughs that they can provide. I have come across some great Dog Humor, and would like to share some!

 

The Top 20 Reasons Dog won’t use Computers:

20. Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’95.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.
16. Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”
15. Fire hydrant icon is very frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing www . pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
8. ‘Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master’s.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Do Not Use Computers…

1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.*

Above was courtesy of www.topfive.com

Here are a few random one liners you may enjoy:

  • They say the dog is man’s best friend. I don’t believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
    –Larry Reeb
  • Don’t make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they’ll treat you like dogs.
    –Martha Scott
  • I bought my grandmother a Seeing Eye dog. But he’s a little sadistic. He does impressions of cars screeching to a halt.
    –Larry Amoros
  • Dogs are lousy poker players. When the get a good hand they wag their tails.
  • The great pleasure of a dog is that you make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, he will make a fool of himself too.
    –Samuel Butler
  • The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor.
    –Margot Kaufman

Alot of these were funny, but some of them have some deep meaning while making us smile. The bottom line is, owning a dog is such a wonderful and fulfilling thing. Often I become overwhelmed with the day to day hustle and bustle of life. But then, I go home and am greeted by a wagging tail and a snout right in the gut, and I realize, life is good, and I laugh.

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